From The Desk of a Geek

From The Desk of a Geek 

Dad, Do You Remember When...

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to spend some time with Brady, Landon, and Alex. My three sons [see how I made a reference to an old TV show] we went shopping and lunch and of course had some laughter and crazy times.

And tonight, Landon, Alex and myself continued a tradition of seeing any new MCU movie on opening night. Landon even made a big deal out of it by wearing a shirt and tie..!

There is no verse in the Bible that says, “Spend time with your children.” 

But....did you know 100 years ago the average parent spent 54 percent of his waking hours with his children? Today that figure is only 18 percent. In fact, one study said the average father spends only eight to ten minutes per day with his children. No wonder when our children run into problems and temptations, parents are among the last to whom they turn for help.

In the Old Testament, Eli was a faithful and successful priest. He was successful in his work and successful in his ministry. But Eli was not a successful father–his sons were very rebellious. In fact, the Bible calls them “worthless men” (1 Samuel 2:12). They stole from the Lord’s altar and committed acts of sexual immorality. Verse 17 says of Eli’s sons, “the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for the men despised the offering of the Lord.” 

So how did Eli respond when he heard about his sons’ sin and rebellion? “Now Eli was very old; and he heard all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting. He said to them, ‘Why do you do such things, the evil things that I hear from all these people?’ . . . But they would not listen to the voice of their father”. 

God judged Eli and his sons for their unrepentant sin. As a result, when we think of Eli, we don’t think of his success in his work. We only think of his legacy of failure as a parent.

Parents, if you fail your children, you lose everything. That is why it is so important that we apply these biblical parenting principles. 

What we do or we fail to do as a parent does not just stop with our children, but it reverberates through generation after generation. You see, when we leave this earth, our likeness will continue to appear again and again in the children and the grandchildren we leave behind. And that is why it is crucial that we learn to parent with success

One of the most important things you can do for your children is to give them your time and to enjoy being with them. Kids aren’t dumb--they sense when you feel like they’re a bother. They also sense when you genuinely like them and enjoy their company. You communicate your attitude toward them, in part, by little gestures: a warm smile, eye contact, a gentle nudge or hug, a shared laugh.

Just putting down what you’re doing for a minute and giving them your undivided attention says, “You are important to me and I want to hear what you have to say.” Even though what they want at the moment may not be an important issue, if you express a welcome response, it can open the way for communicating at other times on more important things, such as spiritual values and character issues. Influence is imparted through time together, genuinely enjoying their company.

I see so many parents, even in Christian families, and especially dads, who destroy their relationships with their kids by being perpetual­ly angry. Their only communica­tion toward them seems to be the high-decibel rhetorical question: “How many times do I have to tell you ...!!!” Or, their anger burns through with sarcastic remarks, name calling, and put downs: “Hey, stupid, use your head!” Sometimes they just shake their heads in disgust, communi­cating non-verbally, but unmistakably, to the child you are saying, “You’re an idiot!”

I’ve seen people in public places talk to their children in ways that wouldn’t be appropriate for correcting your dog. 

Then, when the kids rebel as teenagers, the parents shrug their shoulders and say weakly, “It’s just a normal phase they have to go through!”

The Bible commands us to put off such rotten speech, and instead use words that build up others. It tells us to put off anger and to be kind and tender to each other.

Time is a vapor. Blink once and it’s gone. We all have a responsibility to steward and invest the time God gives us in things that produce lasting and eternal dividends. Let’s use the precious and limited time we have with our children by investing in their hearts. Life is short. By God’s grace, don’t waste it.

Lonnie...