The Art of “Forking”

In my last blog, I had some people inquire on the art of “forking”.. !
Basically, what you do is you get a ton of white plastic forks, and then you sneak up on a co-worker or a “good –natured” person’s house and start sticking the forks (all the forks) in the yard.
You must always have the “prongs” (those stick things at the ends) sticking up...
When done right, it is a beautiful sight!

There you go the art of “forking”

PS... You must use your own judgment on rather or not you will get caught.

Where Does Time Go

I can’t believe that it is almost August! I have to admit that this has been one of my busiest months to date… So let me give you all a quick recap of July 2007

During the first week of July, I took a vacation week!! (Yea, Ministers take vacations – but not from God!) We went to Holiday World, then to Thomas the Train! The second week in July, I was in the office part of the week. We had a trip to the Maysville Water Park! That was very exciting... especially the “storm that just missed us, or when we almost ran out of gas!

The third part of July, I was at Camp Northward!! (iTune Into God)..This was an AWESOME time.. Besides the greatest worship band being there, Lois Lane and myself “forked” someone’s (Kev’s) yard.. Oh yea and Lois “knocked” on the door and ran off!! This was a great time… Way to go Lois!!

And now, finally we are towards the end of July… We went to the Air Force Museum on Tuesday and Friday the kids are visiting a fire house and its men and woman who bravely work there!

Over all it was a great month…But I have to give my top 3 things…

1.. Vacation with the family
2.. Camp Northward
3.. Lois and myself forking someone’s (Kev’s) yard!!

Deep Thoughts

These will give you something to think about... Thanks Jack!

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said "Hey, hows it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"

I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Are We There Yet

Phew!! I am wore out! Today, I along with some "brave" adults took out K-5th grade youth group to the US Air Force Museum in Dayton Ohio.... (about 2 hours away)... So you can imangine the patients of the kids.. But I have to say they did a great job!!..

The museum is a pretty cool place. We visted the "Early Years" , "WWII", "Modern Flight", and the "Space Program". Over all it was a pretty good day..

Camp Week

Well I just finished another year of church camp.. It is around 2:30 in the am and I about to head of to bed.. We get an extra hour sleep in the morning.. Which means I will be waking up in about 5 hours..
I have to say it was a pretty good week over all.. The rain came and went through out the week and the sun beat down on us.. But it wasnt too bad.. My partner in crime "Lois" came and helped out a few days..
I tell you what I dont think I ever remember laughing as hard as I did when we were just hanging out..(Hay-rides, Carpet ball, Forks, knocks on doors, holes in the ground...and so on) that was just one of the many highlights we had this week..

I will post more next time about the "DJ2L" and "The RAVE" I mean Jam Session!!

Back

Well it has been a while since I've last blogg.. That being said.. I am not going to do any spell check right now.. So if you see some errors.. (Live with it!!) haha just kidding.. My computer at home is on the fritz.. So I couldn't blogg..

But the main reason is I have been busy.. We had VBS then I took a vacation week.. It was really relaxing and fun.. We took Brady and his buddy to Holiday World in Indiana that was pretty much fun.. Then we took Landon to see Thomas the Train Engine.. He got to ride on a train and everything... He loved it!!.. Plus we are building a bedroom for Brady down in the basement.. which is going pretty good.. considering I have never done anything like this before..

Well I will write more next time..

Remember.. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!!

Arms Wide Open

What a busy week it has been. I haven’t been able to post much, because we were having Vacation Bible School this week. We have a couple of more days left till it is over. I am really enjoying this years VBS, all my workers and staff are doing an exceptional job!! So “Thanks People!!”

Arms Wide Open...
The other day I was going through some music videos getting ready for yet another “True Lies-The Dangers of Music Movies and TV” class. I came across this video I haven’t really seen in quite some time. The song is by a group that was around in the early part of 2000. They were known as CREED...
As I was watching the video to the song “Arms Wide Open” I started thinking about my own kids... (If you never heard the song, it is about a father talking to his unborn son)...Any way, there I am watching this video and all I can think about were my three boys. There is one part in the song that sort of sticks out it go like this.
“If I can have just one wish, maybe one request, I hope he (the son) is not like me,
I hope he understands, that you can take this world and hold it by both hands, and you can greet this world… with arms wide open”

I don’t know how I am doing as a father... I am still new to all of this, in less then 4 years I became a dad to a “pre-teen” a “toddler” and a “newborn” I just hope that they can understand why I do what I have to do and sometimes daddy maybe is too strict, and why I want them to “greet this world, with arms wide open”

Every Hero Has A Beginning

"Trust me, Clark. Our friendship is going to be the stuff of legend." - Lex Luthor

Cathy's Dream

Ha-ha check this out- We took the "Toddler Ministry" to a petting zoo today, but I will talk about that in my next post. But I have to share with you the conversation I had with my beautiful bride.
I get home around 5pm tonight from the zoo and picking up Brady from camp, and after I unloaded the van. I was in the kitchen and Cathy was telling me about her dream she had last night.
Everyone knows I am a huge Superman fan, which includes the CW’s and Warner Bros. smash hit Smallville.
Now Landon loves to call me “Superman”, and Kayla (Lois Lane) calls me Clark, ok I sort of make them call me that (ha ha ) anyway, Cathy said she dreamed I had the body of Smallville’s Clark Kent..!!
And she was like talking in her dream saying,”Come here and kiss me!!” (Ha-ha) I was cracking up... Anyway she is going to kill me for saying this... Got to love it!

Cry - Mandy Moore

Ha-ha... I found the video to my ring tone... This is from a great movie called Walk to Remember... Cathy loves the book and the movie.. So I made the ring tone for her..(yea ok you got me.. I like the song) :>)

John 15:13

John 15:13, this is it what I decided to title this, my latest blog entry. Why you ask? Well to fully understand, you have to be able to know what John 15:13 is... so I will give you all a few minutes to look it up……………………..
You see, I been having a bad week, not in the since of bad things all together, just a lot of stress, disappointments and sadness with things in my life. I been having some problems with the city of Cynthiana and its people and today I got some news (that I wont go into detail about-don’t worry the family is fine, I am fine) that sort of “peeved” me off. I was so mad and upset I didn’t know what to do.
So I called my friend Mark, you know, he came right over and sat down and talked with me and was a real friend.
He even came back later on tonight to make sure I was ok...

At first I felt embarrassed to have to call someone. But then I remember how Mark and I hung out and talked before..

I am feeling so much better now; the problem is resolved with the certain situation. But I guess I just wanted to publicly thank my friend Mark...

Thanks Mark for being there... You lived out John 15:13 for me today...



I

Glen Campbell Rhinestone Cowboy

My favorite song!!

Redneck Church

1. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members know how to play one.

2. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... people ask when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

4. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.

12. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... instead of a bell; you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah".

Monkey See and Monkey Do

Being that Father’s Day is coming upon us, I thought I would write some of my own father’s favorite quotes or ideas on life.. So, here we go..

“You’re known by the company you keep.”
“Where’s your mother?”
“Drop kick me Jesus, through the goal post of life” (song)
“Ask your mother”
“It don’t matter if the light switches are upside down, as long as they work”
“Where’s your mother?”
“How did the dog get my teeth?”
“Have you seen a small cow”?
“They’re all roosters!”
“Where’s your mother?”
“What is wrong with latches on the “outside” of the cabinets, they work.”
“Who put that “*@^&# foot stool right there”
“Where’s your mother”
“Help, I’ve falling through the attic, and through the hallway ceiling.”
“Let’s go, I’ve sharpen my chain saw.” ( I hated cutting wood)

Happy Father’s day to my Dad!! I love you

So Old …Moses Signed His Year Book..

Ok check this out.. I have a neighbor behind our house.. I don’t think he likes me too much. I really haven’t figured it out why yet. I think it is mainly because he is pretty much as old as creation itself. Mind you now, I mean no disrespect, but let me tell you what “Old man river” has done..

Ok about 2 years ago.. I took some time off and build the boys a tree house on stilts. It is pretty neat looking it has windows and furniture in it. I also attached a slide and 3 swings to it to give it a more family friendly look. I painted it red and made it look really pretty. I noticed some “wasted” area behind and off to the right of the club house, so I thought I would build a little bon fire pit with benches and stuff. So, the day came when it was completed, I decided that Brady and I would camp out in it and build a small “marsh- mellow roasting” fire. I am serious when I say small, the flame was no bigger then a candle. Any way “Old man river” called the Fire Dept. on me. Then he proceeded to come over with his son (who is about 30ish) and he and his 30ish son insist that the smoke was affecting his daughter’s asthma. Then the 30ish dad preceded TO PUT OUT HIS CIGARETTE!!

Then last week he called the city and informed them that (according to the letter from the city council) that my yard was “UNHEALTHY” and that the “Vegetation” was too long” So we spent last weekend “fixing” the problems. I still notice “Old man river” driving up and down his “road” looking at my yard..

I guess some people are born to be mean.. Anyway to “Old man river” You have a blessed day my friend!!

(This story is for you Mark – haha)

Things That I Love

The Obvious Things..

My Lord

My Wife
My Family
My Friends
My Life
Superman

Other Things..

Sauerkraut and instant mashed taters
Gold Star Chili
TV
Smallville
My Ministry
My Youth Group kids past and present
Coin collecting
Tools
Fix it shows
History

Completed

Well tonight I completed my 10 week course of the Falmouth Citizen’s Police Academy.
We had some guest speakers and some great food at the graduation ceremony. The two best parts were when they let me say a few words at the beginning and have a moment of silence and prayer for the falling Officers and the families who must go on. and having Cathy there to see me receive this hornor. I concluded with the reading of Ephesians 6:10-12, where Paul talks about the Armor of God and that we are fighting a war not of the flesh but of the spirit.
One thing I heard over and over again was that “The days of Mayberry and Barney are gone.” And as I look around today and watch the news and listen to Brady tell me some things about the schools...
It is so true…. The days of Mayberry are gone…
Thanks to all the fellows of the Falmouth Police Dept. I had a blast... and the rest of the Class of 2007 Citizens Academy.

PS... "Bad Boys Bad Boys What-cha Going To Do, When Lonnie Comes After You"

Betcha Didn’t Know This

Wow I haven’t bloged in a few days.. We had a “lock-in” on Friday night and I was just too tired and “mind-dead” on what to write. So I thought I would write a quick blog for my buddy Mark who says he likes to read these and I’ve been slacking. So I thought I would write some things that people may or may not know about yours truly
So here we go..

Betcha didn’t know that I was a Fireman/EMT when I was 18
Betcha didn’t know that I was in the US Army for 8 years
Betcha didn’t know that I seen the Berlin Wall come down
Betcha didn’t know that I used to work with Nuclear Missiles. (Supplied communication support)
Betcha didn’t know that I worked at McDonalds for 4 hours.
Betcha didn’t know that I traveled all over the world Europe/Spain/France and married a girl 10 minutes away from my hometown.
Betcha didn’t know my middle name (Cho’) was named after a Korean Solider.
Betcha didn’t know that I actually met and took a picture of a real life Russian Communist Solider.
Betcha didn’t know that I have medals from the Army for services before, during and after the Persian Gulf War in a frame Cathy made.
Betcha didn’t know that I took a Falmouth Police Citizen’s Academy course that lasted 10 weeks.
Betcha didn’t know I had a bed wetting problem till I was 12 (shhh on that one)
Betcha didn’t know I am obsessed with Superman (I gave you a freebie)

Well there you go some information you might or might not have known about Lonnie
See you in the funny papers

Boy Meets Girl

Ok today is my wedding anniversary Cathy and I have been married today for 11 years. So I thought it would be neat to relive our history in an “abstract art” form. Oh, before that, if you are wondering what we did today. Well I sent red roses to her office yesterday and today we went out to lunch then to an art museum in Lexington. We are taking Brady and Landon to the Cincinnati Zoo in the morning and little Alexander is spending the day with his Aunt Peggy and cousin Alexis. Ok here we go
Boy Meets Girl

Boy meets girl.
Girls says she is spoken for.
Boy won’t give up.
Girl gives in says yes to a date
Girl leaves work, hits boy’s car
Boy smiles, thinks to himself, going to be a good date
Boy calls girl, MOM answers... Don’t like boy’s name
Boys picks up girl. See daddy, takes out all ear rings
Boy and girl have fun.
Year later Boy and girl fall in love
Girl invites boy to church
Boy goes, girl prays for boy’s salvation
Year later boy and girl get engaged
Girl still prays for boy’s salvation
3 months later God whispers to girl (I gots this)
Boy gets baptized
3 months later boy and girl say “I do”
Couple moves to Ohio
Couple love their first small very small apartment
Boy works at 11 different jobs in 5 years
Girl wants to move back to Kentucky to start a family
Boy and Girl move back no home, no jobs, and no money
Couple prays for a home, couple fine a home
God has plans for couple
God wants boy to be a Youth Minister
Couple prays for a family (God hears)
Couple fall in love and adopted first son
Couple has a second son
Couple has a third son
Boy sees a special doctor.
Family according to God’s timing

End Of An Era

Yesterday was Bracken County High school’s Commencement service for the year of 2007.
I saw a lot of students from camps and church’s I knew graduate. So congrats to all those, but more especially to my partner in crime “Lois Lane”!!

Welcome to the next chapter of your life! I can’t wait to see what God has planned for you.