Preparing Not Pressuring Our Children's Faith

The postcard came in the mail with a promise. Just show up, listen to a brief sales presentation and receive a free $25 gift card.

Cathy and I were newly married and short on money. So, the promise of $25 felt like a million-dollar offer. A few weeks later we attended the event. But two hours into our “brief” sales presentation, we knew we’d made a mistake. The pressure to say yes was growing by the minute. We no longer cared about the $25. We just wanted out!

In hindsight, the salesman was likely under a lot of pressure, which meant his pressure became our pressure. And although his offer sounded wonderful, his tactics turned us off.

Here’s the truth — sometimes as parents, we can feel and apply a lot of pressure, too.

It’s a different kind of pressure, of course. But still, it’s the kind of pressure that, if we aren’t careful, can become our children’s pressure.

As parents, we can have a sincere and God-given desire to see our kids (or any children in our sphere of influence) follow Jesus. After all, God does call us to help pass on faith to the next generation. (Deuteronomy 6:4-7)

But the weight of this call can create fear. We can become gripped with anxiety. Even more commonly, we become overly controlling and demanding. We can easily lean in the direction of pressuring our kids to choose Jesus. When we do, we begin to create a family culture that feels legalistic and rigid.

Our children can feel the pressure to choose Jesus not because they want to, but because we want them to.

What our hearts need is a reminder of the good news. The Apostle Paul puts it this way:

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:4-5).

It is by grace, through faith, that we can cross from death to life. The same grace that saved us has the power to save our kids.

While God does His part, He asks us to do ours, too.

The work God has called us to as parents is a lot like the work of a farmer. A farmer does his work and then waits on God to open the heavens, trusting that when the rain falls, the harvest comes. We are planting seeds, pulling weeds and guarding the fields of our children’s hearts. All of it takes time, wisdom, patience and perseverance. And lots of trust. Our kids are His kids. Just like the farmer, we can’t make things grow. We can only be faithful.

As parents, we prepare our kids to one day choose Jesus in response to God’s grace by planting the seeds of God’s Word in their hearts.

We teach them the Bible.

We model Christlike love.

We endure trials well.

We talk often about the gospel of God’s love and forgiveness.

And ultimately, we act. We show our kids that following Jesus really is the best way to live — and it’s the only way to live forever.

Oh, it isn’t easy, but with God’s help, let’s press on with our call to pass on faith by preparing and not pressuring. And let’s pray often that when the choice is fully theirs, they choose to fully follow Jesus.

Lonnie

What Is Love

What Is God Teaching Today

10/12/2020

What Is Love

Last week n my pest control route, I had to wait an extra twenty minutes for a gentleman to come an open up a church for me.

We he finally arrived he was very apologetic, and remorseful for being late.

I kept on assuring him it was ok, things happen all the time to cause us to be late. 

He continued to explain he was at the local nursing home. I excitedly chimed in asking if he was visiting the residents.

In his elderly kind voice he said "No, I was feeding my wife."

At first I felt taken back and a little sad, but then I thought about what that kind of love must feel like, and how it must look. 

Then I realized that I wanted to be that kind of husband, not just on Valentine's Day, but until death.

So it got me thinking, and praying.

The word “love” is overused in today’s society. We express love for anything from the perfect shoes to pepperoni pizza. 

When the object of our affection wears out, then we move on to something new. 

This kind of love comes and goes. It moves from object to object, concept to new idea.

Loving another person is not supposed to be so fluid. When we love another person, we SHOULD want that love to last forever.

There’s something in us that craves a relationship with that one special someone who knows us like no one else. 

We want that one person we can share life with, do life with… and finish life with.

I believe that this longing we all seem to have is just the thumbprint of God on our souls.

It’s a desire God placed in us, as part of our being created in his image. It makes us want to fall in love and stay in love with one person forever.

The falling in love part is easy enough — most of us have done it a number of times. 

But the staying in love… now that’s another matter. Glancing around at the marriages we know, and taking in what our culture tells us, we don’t find much, if any, evidence for the kind of long-lasting relationships we crave.

The standards of what we expect from a relationship are as high as ever — we want massive doses of respect, encouragement, comfort, security, support, acceptance, approval, appreciation, attention, and affection. 

We come into a marriage feeling our own deficits in many of these areas, and expecting our spouse to make up for them.

Moreover, our culture has a very low threshold of relational pain. We’re constantly told that if we find ourselves unhappy in a relationship, it’s because we chose the wrong person, so now we need to abort that relationship and choose someone else.

Into that kind of relational chaos, Jesus has spoken. Two thousand years ago, He gave us the foundation for romantic love relationships that endure. This foundation is crystallized for us in the words of Jesus in John 13:34 —

A new command I give you

 "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

It’s simple, yet counterintuitive. Jesus takes this word love — which we normally perceive as a noun, something we fall into, or a feeling we experience — and He highlights it as a verb. 

It’s something you do, an active choice you make. And once you do, then the feelings will follow.

Lonnie...

What An Empty Pew Can Teach Us

Slain New York City police officer Rafael Ramos had one of those dangerous jobs that made showing up every day a quiet act of heroism.
But as the testimonies that came spilling out after his December 2014 shooting death make clear, he was a hero for another reason, too: Ramos was a man of faith with the rare courage to live out his convictions for the world to see.

In an increasingly secular age, people are encouraged to worship in their own way, as long as they do it in private. Talk of faith in the public square raises suspicion and sometimes hostility, but this apprehension overlooks the many important contributions of faith to public life and culture. 

Where would the world be if the faithful kept their faith inside the sanctuary walls? Without a belief that God created all people equal, William Wilberforce would never have campaigned for decades to end the British slave trade.
Without a firm conviction that God is just and abhors violence, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would not have had the courage to lead the non-violent movement for African-American civil rights.
Without faith in the love and mercy of God, Mother Teresa of Calcutta would not have shown the world the preciousness of the poor and dying.

In other words, we would have done without some of the most prophetic moral voices of history.
These public manifestations of justice, courage, perseverance, and kindness – often controversial in their place and time – cannot and should not be separated from the private faith that spawned them.
Rather, they exemplify why more people, not fewer, need to live out their faith publicly in service to their culture and community.

The call for Christians to “get out of the pew” is hardly new. In the first decades after Christ, Paul wrote to Philemon, the leader of a church that met in his home, to encourage him to accept a former slave and ex-prisoner back into his household on grounds of spiritual equality and brotherhood.
If followed, Paul's advice would breach social conventions and raise eyebrows.

It was this trend toward radical egalitarianism, rather than hypocrisy or judgementalism, that made early Christianity so threatening – and so appealing – to the broader culture around it.

And it has continued through the centuries. Churches have long been built alongside public hospitals, orphanages and centers of learning created for the benefit of the entire community, but especially for the poor and marginalized.
Christian communities that venture outside their church doors all week long best exemplify the teaching of Jesus.

He didn’t instruct his followers to merely perform a weekly exercise in piety, but rather to continue doing what they saw him model:
Heal the sick, feed the hungry, set captives free, love the lost, and, in short, help restore each person and all of creation to its God-ordained state of flourishing.

Ramos was a wonderful example of the positive impacts of faith quietly and consistently lived out in the community. At the time of his murder, in fact, Ramos was “just hours away from becoming a lay chaplain and graduating from a community-crisis chaplaincy program.”

According to the Rev. Marcos Miranda, president of the New York State Chaplain Task Force, Ramos said “even with the NYPD, he felt he was doing God’s work. ... He felt he was protecting and serving the community and that was sort of a ministry for him.”

We need to be on the streets, in classrooms, in hospitals, prisons, and legislatures, working for the transformation and restoration of our communities, whatever our vocation. It’s what Ramos did with his dying breath, and it’s a calling we can all respond to. 

Hope

The other day, I saw these words written on a sign at a local church. It said, "Hope Is Real." I thought about it and agreed with the statement.

But as I pondered the simple little phrase, I realized that for many people hope is not real. I believe that this is one of the most important gifts we can give to another person, the gift of hope.

You see, someone who is hopeless and alone usually cannot help themselves out of their situations. They have a great sense of loss and helplessness. We must come alongside and bring them friendship, and the good news of Jesus Christ and all that He has to offer.

One definition for hope is: To look forward to with confidence or expectation.
We must bring the Word of God with all its hope to someone who does not know it is real. When we bring hope, we bring life. It is life changing to finally believe again.

It is more than just asking God for something we so badly need; we must expect our miracle.

I heard a story once where two farmers prayed for rain. Then one of the farmers got up off his knees and prepared his fields for the rain.
Which farmer do you think trusted and hoped more?

Somewhere in the midst of asking, believing, and expecting God to answer, we will find what we are looking for.

I have felt for a long time that the biggest problem we have in the world today is there are so many people who have lost hope.
There seems to be so many hurts, problems, sicknesses, troubles, financial woes, family problems, world issues, political concerns, etc. It seems the world has no hope.

Apart from God, it is an awful, hopeless place. But with God's help, we can make it. I want you to know that whatever situation you find yourself in at this moment, there is hope.

You may not be able to see or feel the hope, but it is there for you. How do we find the hope? There is only one place where hope can be found, and that is in Jesus Christ.

I did a word search in the Bible for the word 'hope' and found many wonderful passages. They were mostly in Psalms and Proverbs of course.
David found himself in situations many times and had to remind himself that hope is real. It comes from God. Here are a few of David's prayers to God:

Psalms 39:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."

Psalms 42:11 "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

Psalms 25:4-5 "Show me the path where I should walk, O LORD; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."

Psalms 25:3 NIV "No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame,"

Trust God. He wants you to trust Him. You need to agree with God about your situation. What does God say about who you are and what His will is for your life?

Don't go by your feelings. Instead we should remind ourselves that God only has plans for us that are good.

Jeremiah helps us remember what God has to say about us. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

We do not need to be disappointed and feel alone. We can have hope! God's love in our hearts will ignite the flames of hope we have buried deep inside our hearts.
God's Word can encourage us as we read it with great anticipation and faith.
I don't want this to be just another Devotion. I want it to bring life to you.
Pray out loud the words of hope into your life and your situations.
*I have hope!
*My hope is in the Lord!
*I will be strong and wait on the Lord.
*I trust God with my life and the life of my family.

Speak these words every day.
*Hope Is Real.
*It comes from God!

He has placed it in your heart.
Speak it out and watch what God will do for you.

What is your need today?
Whatever it is, take it to Jesus today. Is there someone in your life today that needs encouraging?

Romans 15:13 reminds us...."May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Speak the Words of hope that bring life. Hope is real, just try it.

Lonnie.......

Why Children's Church

Children’s church or big church? That is the question many parents are asking lately.

When I began in ministry, back in 2000, (oh my!) children’s churches weren’t wildly popular in my area but over the years, the trend has caught on. Now I am happy to report we have some amazing ministries that reach children of all races and social situations. I am blessed to have been involved with some of those.

A well run kid church can be a major assent in your church and a tool God uses to tell children about Jesus. Our young people are so blessed to belong to faith communities who love them enough to teach the Bible on a level they can understand and enjoy!

Should a parent send their child to children’s church or keep him or her in big church?

According to some recent blog posts I’ve read, many parents are abandoning their support for children’s ministry and keeping their kids in the adult church services. Not only that but they are encouraging others to do the same. That’s fine and that’s certainly their choice but I find some of these church purists’ attitudes a bit shocking. Especially the practice of shaming parents for their perceived lack of commitment to their children’s spiritual life. How dare someone label a parent as lazy or immature because they take their child to children’s church? And I have to ask myself, how in the world did we get here? Aren’t we all co-ministers of the gospel?

To you, dear children’s minister, I say keep up the good work. Share the gospel. Love the kids. Don’t let this vocal minority discourage you in any way. Kids need you. They need children’s church. You know the calling God has put in your life – keep telling them about Jesus. It matters so much. Here’s why:

1. Children need socialization / peer fellowship too. 

Many parents homeschool their children and the socialization aspect of children’s church is a major plus for these kids. These parents need you and your ministry.

2. Children need the community to stand with them.

While in public schools, children are bombarded with confusing messages about gender, sexuality and so much more. In children’s church, they learn that it is okay to stand up for what’s right and they see how they can do it by watching other children. Just like adults need fellowship, children do too.

3. Children don’t need to be “preached at” to be inspired.

There, I said it. Children learn differently. Let’s teach kids the way they need to be taught. If they were in school, they wouldn’t just sit at a desk all day and listen to the teacher drone on and on. They would be at learning centers, trying hands on experiments. They would be doing all those things. Not being preached at from a faraway pulpit. Or worse learning to fake listen like too many grown-ups in our congregations.

4. Jesus encouraged us to let the children come to him–and do not hinder them! 

Here’s the actual verse in Matthew 19:14,”Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  What was the action here? Whoever brought these children (parents? friends?) wanted Jesus to interact with them, lay hands on them, pray for them. They weren’t being led into the temple to sit on a pew. Something to think about!

5. Children need access to your special anointing. 

And it is special. You are anointed to minister to children. God is aware of our culture. He is aware of our current methods of ministry. You have been put here on purpose for an on-purpose reason. No matter who speaks against your ministry, you are called by God to stand in the place you serve. Don’t give up. Be encouraged. You are a blessing.

None of this trumps a parent’s personal conviction. Only the parent can know if their child is “getting it” in the big church experience.
The best models we’ve seen blend the kids into the adult service increasingly as they mature. So maybe preschoolers get some songs, younger elementary stay a little more, older elementary is there most of the time. Every church is working on a balance.

We’re all on the same team with one goal – that our kids can grow to love & trust Jesus with all their hearts. Let’s just make sure we don’t rush them past the tremendous blessing found in the children’s church.

Monday Morning Church

For most folks, Monday is a hard day to get up and get going. I remember having some jobs in life where it was hard to sleep on Sunday night for dread of having to get up and go to work on Monday morning. If that’s you, you have my sympathy. But let me also give you a word of encouragement –

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Php 4:19)

Paul tells us that “God shall supply all your need.” God is always mindful of every need of His children and He has promised to supply all of them.

‘All’ means – all. That includes things like food and clothing, but it also includes grace for living. God is willing to supply you with His strength for you to begin a new week of work. What’s more, God’s supplies aren’t limited.

They are in proportion to His riches in glory. God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can think or ask.

Hudson Taylor, who was a missionary to China during the 1800′s, often said, “When God’s work is done in God’s way for God’s glory, it will not lack for God’s supply.” 

As a disciple of Jesus Christ, our work for Him doesn’t end once Sunday is over. Every day we are to be on mission with Him; even at school or our places of employment.

Rather than trying to just make it through another Monday, let me encourage you to try approaching it with the mindset and anticipation that God has some special things He wants us to accomplish.

Perhaps we will have the opportunity today to say or do something that might greatly help and encourage another person. Perhaps we will have the opportunity to share the gospel. Perhaps God will use us this Monday to turn someone’s life around.

Lonnie

God's Restoration Plan

God's  Restoration Plan

"And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ--everything in heaven and on earth." (Ephesians 1:10)

From the beginning of time, mankind has searched for peace. He has joined peace movements. He has marched for peace. He has awarded prizes for peace. He has even gone to war for peace. And when you hear of someone being arrested for disturbing the peace, you wonder where they found any to disturb.

There are people today who put bumper stickers on their car that say, "Visualize world peace." Then they cut you off on the freeway.

One day there will be peace. But it won't be brought about by the United Nations. It won't be brought about by any nation. It will be brought about by God Himself. It will happen when the Creator Himself returns, takes possession of what is rightfully His, and hangs a sign over this war-weary planet that says, "Under new management." Christ will return, and He will bring lasting peace.

God's perfect plan, according to Ephesians 1:10, is to "bring everything together under the authority of Christ."

Peter preached in Acts 3:21 that Christ "must remain in Heaven until the time for the final restoration of all things, as God promised long ago through his holy prophets." God is going to make earth into Heaven and Heaven into earth. Just as the wall that separates man and God was torn down as a result of the Cross, so too will the wall that separates Heaven and earth be demolished.

Have you ever seen a completely restored classic car cruise down the street? It catches your eye. You think, That is awesome! That is beautiful! That is incredible! That is because you love to see something restored to its original condition.

God is into restoration. He is into restoring lives. He is into restoring bodies. And He is even into restoring our planet.

Happy Rod Run Day..
Lonnie

My Brother/My Sister/Our God

"Am I my brother's keeper",
Cain's insolent and arrogant response to God's question is a sign of his inward, unacknowledged guilt.

This is always the way of guilt—to disclaim responsibility. Cain replies, My brother? What have I to do with my brother? Am I my brother's keeper? Is it my responsibility to know where my brother is? 

The hypocrisy of that is most evident. Though Cain could disclaim responsibility for knowing where his brother was, he did not hesitate to assume the greater responsibility of taking his brother's life.

We have heard much of the same thing in modern times. When Martin Luther King, Jr., was murdered in 1968, many were saying these same things. 

It's not our fault that Dr. King was killed. Why should we suffer for what some fanatic did? It's not our responsibility. Soon some were saying, He ought to have known this would happen.

After all, if you stir up trouble, sooner or later you will pay the price for it. No one can deny the logic and truth of a statement like that.

Yet it is very obviously incomplete. There is nothing in it of facing responsibility and no honest answering of the terrible question from Cain's lips, Am I my brother's keeper?

Two or three decades ago, Dr. Carl Henry wrote a book called 
The Uneasy Conscience of Fundamentalism, which bothered many people when it first came out.

Dr. Henry pointed out that the isolationism that many Christians adopt, which removes us from contact with non-Christians, has also successfully removed us from grappling with some of the pressing social questions of our hour.

We have often been quite content to sing about going to heaven but have shown very little concern for the sick and the poor, the lonely, the old, and the miserable of our world. Isaiah 58 is a ringing condemnation of such an attitude on the part of religious people.

God is infinitely concerned in this area of life, and those who bear His name dare not neglect these areas. Let us be perfectly frank and admit that this is a manifestation of Christian love that we evangelicals have tended greatly to neglect.

The church was never intended to minister to only one segment of society but is to include all people, all classes, all colors, without distinction. These distinctions are to be ignored in the church.

They must be; otherwise, we are not being faithful to the one who called us and who Himself was the friend of sinners of all kinds. We must be perfectly honest and admit that this has been the weak spot of evangelical life, this failure to move out in obedience to God's command to offer love, friendship, forgiveness, and grace to all people without regard to class, color, background, or heredity.

"Father, open my eyes that I might see the people around me as people whom You created and whom You have placed in my path for a purpose. Teach me that I am my brother's keeper."

My Social Network

I recently heard of something that happened on Facebook. A girl posted about New Years Day, saying“People always make New Year’s Resolutions, but let’s face it, none of us are going to keep ours.”

How would you respond to a statement like that?

Some people posted back in agreement, and the poster had a lot of likes. But one of the poster’s 375 “friends” had just made a New Year’s Resolution to go back to the gym. She really wanted to keep it, and was a kind of “up” and bubbly person, so that comment really got to her. This girl (we’ll call her Jane) simply posted back “Ew”.

In other words, Jane had read this negative comment, had felt it strike her wrongly, and she posted her feelings about it: “Ew.”

It turns out things had gotten a little tense between the girl and Jane lately. They were in the same math class … no words had been exchanged, just a few dirty looks that probably started with mutual jealousy. The first girl posted back to Jane, “I hear you’re switching high schools. Is it because you don’t have any friends at this school?”

What she didn't realise was Jane’s dad had serious surgery the year before, and they were moving so he could live in a house that didn’t have as many stairs. Switching schools was causing the whole family a tremendous stress.

The point is, this Facebook war mushroomed into something that involved three days of posts, over 160 people from 5 different communities and 3 different schools.

Some would argue it all started with just TWO LITTLE LETTERS: E-W. Ew.

With that story in mind, here's four principles to help us be godly Facebookers.

1. Your online behaviour reflects your offline attitudes

Philippians 4:8 says, “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”

You can’t say, and you can’t post, what you’re not thinking about.

So before your write something on Facebook, imagine how others might respond to what are you saying. How do think they will feel? Good? Or Bad? If you think there's a chance they will take it negatively, maybe you shouldn't post it.

Posting and texting is just like any other area of life. In Matthew 7:12 Jesus states clearly, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”This 'Golden Rule' sums up almost every other command in the Bible.

2. Avoid online negativity

This principle is like a subcategory of the first. If you say something negative about a person, it often gets back to the source. If you post something negative in public about another person, that’s worse. If you try to encrypt it so that only a few people know what you’re talking about, it will be sniffed out by the source — and probably 20 other people who are so deeply insecure that they think everyone is referring to them.

If you have something you need to say to someone, then go and talk to them face-to-face. And do it with grace and love.

3. Don't return evil for evil

What if someone says something negative about you? Not returning evil for evil is really hard, and yet it is where the rubber meets the road in relying on Christ. You’re going to need practice and patience.

Here are some examples I've seen of people responding to negative comments:

Negative person says: “Where’d you get those ugly jeans?”
Reply: (roll eyes) “I know they're not the best … but I really love all the stuff you wear.”

Negative person says: “I can’t stand so-and-so. He's really annoying.”
Reply: “Actually, he sits beside me in math. He’s really nice once you get to know him.”

Negative person says: “So and so wrote bad stuff about you on the bathroom wall.”
Reply: “You’re kidding! Wow. I always really liked her. I'll try and find a time to chat with her about it.”

It’s very hard to return a mean comment with a nice one because we feel like we are giving that mean person even more power. But the opposite is true.

4. Kill them with kindness

Psalm 25:21-22 says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you."

“Heap burning coals” means that regardless of what people may show on the outside, you will make them burn with regret over what they just said. It’s such a well-known tactic that it has a name: It’s called “killing people with kindness”.

That doesn’t mean the guilt will show up in people right away. Generally, they will look confused or stunned.

But often they’ll go away and think about it. Conversely, if you say something mean back, you are throwing fire at fire. What happens to the fire when you add fire to it? It grows and grows. Will fire ever put out a fire?

In the end, as Christians, we want to follow the lead of Jesus, who said in Matthew 5:44, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Are you ready to do that on Facebook today

Lonnie

My Social Network

I recently heard of something that happened on Facebook. A girl posted about New Years Day, saying“People always make New Year’s Resolutions, but let’s face it, none of us are going to keep ours.”

How would you respond to a statement like that?

Some people posted back in agreement, and the poster had a lot of likes. But one of the poster’s 375 “friends” had just made a New Year’s Resolution to go back to the gym. She really wanted to keep it, and was a kind of “up” and bubbly person, so that comment really got to her. This girl (we’ll call her Jane) simply posted back “Ew”.

In other words, Jane had read this negative comment, had felt it strike her wrongly, and she posted her feelings about it: “Ew.”

It turns out things had gotten a little tense between the girl and Jane lately. They were in the same math class … no words had been exchanged, just a few dirty looks that probably started with mutual jealousy. The first girl posted back to Jane, “I hear you’re switching high schools. Is it because you don’t have any friends at this school?”

What she didn't realise was Jane’s dad had serious surgery the year before, and they were moving so he could live in a house that didn’t have as many stairs. Switching schools was causing the whole family a tremendous stress.

The point is, this Facebook war mushroomed into something that involved three days of posts, over 160 people from 5 different communities and 3 different schools.

Some would argue it all started with just TWO LITTLE LETTERS: E-W. Ew.

With that story in mind, here's four principles to help us be godly Facebookers.

1. Your online behaviour reflects your offline attitudes

Philippians 4:8 says, “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”

You can’t say, and you can’t post, what you’re not thinking about.

So before your write something on Facebook, imagine how others might respond to what are you saying. How do think they will feel? Good? Or Bad? If you think there's a chance they will take it negatively, maybe you shouldn't post it.

Posting and texting is just like any other area of life. In Matthew 7:12 Jesus states clearly, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”This 'Golden Rule' sums up almost every other command in the Bible.

2. Avoid online negativity

This principle is like a subcategory of the first. If you say something negative about a person, it often gets back to the source. If you post something negative in public about another person, that’s worse. If you try to encrypt it so that only a few people know what you’re talking about, it will be sniffed out by the source — and probably 20 other people who are so deeply insecure that they think everyone is referring to them.

If you have something you need to say to someone, then go and talk to them face-to-face. And do it with grace and love.

3. Don't return evil for evil

What if someone says something negative about you? Not returning evil for evil is really hard, and yet it is where the rubber meets the road in relying on Christ. You’re going to need practice and patience.

Here are some examples I've seen of people responding to negative comments:

Negative person says: “Where’d you get those ugly jeans?”
Reply: (roll eyes) “I know they're not the best … but I really love all the stuff you wear.”

Negative person says: “I can’t stand so-and-so. He's really annoying.”
Reply: “Actually, he sits beside me in math. He’s really nice once you get to know him.”

Negative person says: “So and so wrote bad stuff about you on the bathroom wall.”
Reply: “You’re kidding! Wow. I always really liked her. I'll try and find a time to chat with her about it.”

It’s very hard to return a mean comment with a nice one because we feel like we are giving that mean person even more power. But the opposite is true.

4. Kill them with kindness

Psalm 25:21-22 says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you."

“Heap burning coals” means that regardless of what people may show on the outside, you will make them burn with regret over what they just said. It’s such a well-known tactic that it has a name: It’s called “killing people with kindness”.

That doesn’t mean the guilt will show up in people right away. Generally, they will look confused or stunned.

But often they’ll go away and think about it. Conversely, if you say something mean back, you are throwing fire at fire. What happens to the fire when you add fire to it? It grows and grows. Will fire ever put out a fire?

In the end, as Christians, we want to follow the lead of Jesus, who said in Matthew 5:44, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Are you ready to do that on Facebook today

Lonnie

New Beginnings Make New Endings

New Beginnings Make New Endings

I recently saw this quote, "No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" (Unknown). I really began to think about that statement. The conclusion was that we don't start over; but we begin again right where we are, making things better in our lives.

As a believer in Christ, it is not about saying I will do this and I won't do that and then dropping the idea or falling short. It is more about asking the Lord to help us each day, to fall deeper and deeper in love with Him. This way our focus will be set on the things of heaven and not on all this earthly stuff.

If I were to make a New Year resolution, it would be to have a deeper commitment, a deeper love, and a deeper worship for the Lord. In the beginning of this past year, He spoke to me in that still small voice in prayer and said, "I am more than enough. I am more than enough in every area of your life." He also said to tell others the same thing.

This year I am determined to make Him my all and all. He wants our undivided attention in spite of the distractions and temptations that lie waiting around the corner. He has to be our main focus.

How we will end this year will be determined by how we started it. Did we want to get more "INTIMATE" with the lover of our soul? I looked up the word intimacy and the meaning is to be close, familiar, very personal and private.

Do you want a new ending this year? How do you want the ending of your life? If you're not a Christian, please know that this could be the best New Year of your life. Your life can be filled with hope and peace. To know what the ending will be is an extra bonus. Why should every year be the same as the one before with nothing really changing? After all, the New Year resolutions may or may not get accomplished.

If you are a Christian and you feel stagnate in your relationship with the Lord, then now is the time to rekindle the love affair with Him. He calls us to Himself and says, "Come away my beloved." Can you hear Him? He is tugging at your heart. The real ending in our life will be when Jesus says well done my good and faithful servant. That statement will be for someone who took the time to get to know Him.

She Said Yes

Lordy lordy lordy....look who's 40....to say we have a perfect marriage is foolishness,  because we are not perfect people.

But to say we have love and forgiveness and a God centered marriage would be true. So with that being said....Happy birthday to my best friend.....and welcome to the history of Lonnie and Cathy (Winkle) Love

Boy meets girl. 
Girls says she is spoken for. 
Boy won’t give up. 
Girl gives in says yes to a date 
Girl leaves work, hits boy’s car 
Boy smiles, thinks to himself, going to be a good date 
Boy calls girl, her MOM answers... Don’t like boy’s name
Boy picks up girl. Sees her daddy, takes out all his ear rings 
Boy and girl have fun. 
Year later Boy and girl fall in love 
Girl invites boy to church 
Boy goes, girl prays for boy’s salvation 
Year later boy and girl get engaged 
Girl still prays for boy’s salvation 
3 months later God whispers to girl (I gots this) 
Boy gets baptized 
3 months later boy and girl say “I do” 
Couple moves to Ohio 
Couple love their first small very small apartment 
Boy works at 11 different jobs in 5 years 
Girl wants to move back to Kentucky to start a family 
Boy and Girl move back no home, no jobs, and no money 
Couple prays for a home, couple find a home 
God has plans for couple 
God wants boy to be a Youth Minister 
Couple prays for a family (God hears) 
Couple fall in love and adopted first son 
Couple has a second son 
Couple has a third son 
Boy sees a special doctor. 
Family according to God’s timing 

Do You Hear What I Hear

Can You Hear the Angels? 
Luke 2:8-14

When I read Luke's account of the Christmas story every year, a question lingers in my mind. I wonder, who heard the angels sing? 

This was arguably the greatest celebration in the history of the world, a choir, a presentation that would make the grandest human ceremony seem like a cheap stage production. 

There are several interesting things about the angelic celebration. First, this was one of only three such celebrations. First, the angels celebrated the Creation of the world. Job 38:7 tells us that while the Master Artist of Heaven painted, sculpted, and fashioned this world, "the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy."  I suspect the chorus reached its climax when God reached down, gathered a handful of dust, and breathed life into a new kind of creature, man. Man was created in the image of God and given something unique: a soul. 

Then, on an otherwise ordinary night, in a dark field, among common shepherds, the Heavens once again opened and all across the horizon, filling the low hills and pasture fields were innumerable angels. And once again in Revelation, we find that same celebration occurring in Heaven. 

But let's return to that field. The angels came specifically to the shepherds. Why the shepherds? Why did they not announce in a more big, public venue like Herod's Temple or His palace. Why did they not enter the grand palaces of Caesar in Rome? 

The answer, quite simply, is that God visits those who are looking for him. Those that seek find. And so the angels visited upon a young teenage girl, her confused fiancé, a common, elderly prophet, and the shepherds. 

So who heard the angels? The shepherds did. Mary did. Joseph did. The wise men did. Anna and Simeon did. Zacharias and Elisabeth did.  

Herod didn't hear. The religious establishment didn't hear. Most of God's chosen people didn't hear. Even some in Jesus' own family wouldn't hear. 

Today, the message of the angels still rings. A Messiah has come. God has entered our world, lowered Himself and became a baby. God visited us—Immanuel is here. 

This season we celebrate Christmas, but most of the world skips right over the baby in the manger. Even many Christians are stressed, angered, and flustered. They too miss the singing of the angels. 

Don't let that be you this Christmas. Because God has come for you, to be your Savior, your Redeemer, your Lord.

The angels are singing. Are you listening?  

She Doesn't Know

         

Today my heart broke for a young girl I never even met, though I was heart broken of the news I had heard of her situation, what made my heart break even more was she doesn't know Him. As I sat in my car weeping for this young woman, whom I never spoken to, I started thinking about my own childhood & teen years, trying to remember everything I was ever taught. 

I was taught to have proper manners at the dinner table, I was taught to have respect for my elders and those who have authority over me, I was taught to stand up to bullies and defend those who are weak, but, was I ever taught about Him? 

My parents are amazing, they raised seven children, took us to little league, and football practice, made sure we all completed high school, and supported anything we choose to do or become. But, was I ever taught about Him?

I was taught there is a God, I was taught there is a place called Heaven and my grandparents are there, but was I ever taught about Him?

Now I am grown up with three kids or my own. I teach my kids about proper manners at the dinner table, to respect their elders and those who have authority over them, to do well in school and defend those who are weak, But am I teaching them about Him?

Am I living a life that teaches my children about Him? Am I giving enough love to their mother that reflects the love from Him? Am I extended grace to those who need it, and maybe not deserve it, like grace was shown to me when I didn't deserve it.

The Bible reminds us in Matthew 28:19-20 

  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”        

The good news of this story is that there is still time. How much time, we will never know, but today you and I have time to teach, to teach our children, to teach our neighbors, to teach our coworkers, to teach our friends and family, and more importantly, to teach ourselves about Him.

Go teach!

For Sale $.25 Cents

Being from Kentucky, my family loves to go to yard-sales. Well, I must confess, I actually like getting up at 7:00 o'clock in the AM, on a summer Saturday morning, just to go through someone's "hand-me-downs" or used tools. So I wasn't a bit surprise when my mother in-law, while watching Landon and Alex, went out to the local yard-sales one sunny Friday morning/afternoon.

It was the Friday before Father Day, and my three boys (Brady, Landon, Alex) were all excited about doing something for "dad." I knew this Fathers Day would be especially hard for my wife (Cathy) because she had just lost her father (Roger) only three months ago, so I hint to my boys not to worry so much about making dad happy, lets focus on mom, and see if we could help ease some of the pain of missing her daddy.

It just so happened that the new Superman movie "Man Of Steel" was coming out that weekend, and everyone knows I am the biggest Superman geek ever, so we decided just to have a nice dinner after church on Sunday and go to the movies. This way, we could help mom through this difficult time, and also give dad a nice day to remember.

Well Friday came and went, and Saturday was a typical one at the Love's house Brady of course (the 18 year old) slept till the noon hours, and the rest of us got up and started some yard work. A typical middle America Saturday afternoon. But what I didn't know was how excited Landon was for Sunday to get here. I knew he liked Superman, but he wasn't a Superman geek like his father. Landon was more of a Batman/Dark Knight "geek". But yet, he kept pacing around the house telling me to, "stay away from under his bed." Now for Landon that surprised me, because he keeps his room picked up. (If it was Brady asking the same thing, I would of had no problem staying away, I think Jimmy Hoffa is under his bed) (HaHa)

So Sunday finally came around. The buzzing of my alarm at 6:30 AM was telling me to get up and moving, and head into the office to get ready for Sunday Worship. But something was different about this day. Landon was wide awake when I got out of the bathroom sitting in my room waiting on me. I thought at first he had a "bad dream," but he was eager to hand me a Fathers Day present that he picked out for me. 

As I looked at the home made wrapping paper of old Lexington Herald news paper and my all to familiar "duct" tape, I knew this was a morning I needed to slow down and spend time with Landon.

As I slowly unwrapped the gift, I looked up at Landon and can actually feel his heart beating faster as he watched me carefully tear away corner, by corner. 

As finished unwrapping the gift, my heart exploded with pride. The kind of pride that makes you glad you are a father. You see, on the day we tried to down play for Cathy, turned out to be one of the greatest days. 

Because my 8 year old son with his own money, and mind, and love for me, found me a picture of Jesus in a frame. Later his grandma (Darlene) told me that he walked over to the yard sale table, seen the picture of Jesus and asked her, "Do you think daddy would like this?" 

As I hung the $.25 cent yard sale picture of Jesus on my wall, I stood back with tears or love in my eyes. For all the wrongs I do everyday. It is great to know that when your 8 year old son sees a picture of Jesus he thinks of his daddy.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them. For the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these'"

Foot Note:  You couldn't buy this picture of Jesus from me for a million dollars. 

#real-love

What Strong Families Have in Common Part 5

What Strong Families Have in Common Part 5

Strong Families Have a Strong Sense of Our Lord
There’s no way to have a truly successful family w/out giving God first place. And we have to convey it to our children. Kids watch carefully…what we’re like at church, and at home.

A study once disclosed that if both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 72% of their children remain faithful. If only Dad, 55% remain faithful. If only Mom, 15%. If neither attended regularly, only 6% remain faithful. The statistics speak for themselves--the example of parents and adults is more important than all the efforts of the church and Sunday school.

A little boy was staying overnight in backyard in a tent. His his day had listened to them talk… “My daddy knows the mayor!”/ “governor!”/ the first boy said, then he heard the voice of his own little boy say,

“that’s nothing’, my daddy knows God!” (Top that!) The other boys said, he does not! “Does too!”

How do you know? “I heard him talking’ to him just this morning!

There’s nothing greater our children can think of then that we know God.

Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

Happy Thanksgiving 2011

What Strong Families Have in Common 4

Strong Families Have Good Coping Skills.

They have the rare ability to solve problems together, and always see the big picture. Don’t ever think that families that break up had problems, and that families who stay together don’t. Divorces and dysfunctional families have very little to do with problems. All families have problems.

Break-ups have to do with coping skills.
I bet there are people who’ve been married 30 years or more, and they’ve had problems far worse than a lot of people who’ve divorced. The difference is in coping skills…working thru the problems.
Every family has problems. If divorces were caused by problems, we’d all be divorced. My family has problems, your family has them. Christian families have them, Even Adam and Eve had problems…

--Adam would come home from work, and she would start counting his ribs…just checking! (haha)

They had their problems together, and even suffered the consequences together (driven out of the garden)

Adam and the kids would walk by the garden…and the kids would say, what’s that, dad? “That’s where your mother ate us out of house and home!" (haha)

Not all families respond to problems in the same way. The Chinese language does not have letters, it has symbols. And the same symbol which means crisis, can also mean opportunity, depending upon the context.
And you know, one family can have a problem and see it as a crisis, and another family have exactly the same problem, and see it as an opportunity.

Someone said, God’s best presents He gives to His children are wrapped in problems. The bigger the problem, the bigger the present…if you’re willing to unwrap it!
How we respond to our problems will make or break us! We’ve got to learn to attack our problems together, instead of attacking each other.

So far we seen that strong families have commitment, communion, communication, coping skills, and…


Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

What Strong Families Have in Common Part 3

Strong Families Have Good Communication


This applies to the marriage relationship as well as parent/child relationship.
Sort of like this…A child comes home from college, the dad says, how’s college? “Good”, How are your grades? “Good” How’s your friends? /food? /dorm life?
By the way, what are you majoring in? “Communications”
Unfortunately, he learned his communication skills at home, where his mom asked his dad lots of questions like that, but she received them, with the same kind of monotone, one-word replies.

Strong families are held together by good communication. Communication is discussing the burdens of your heart…opening the windows of your soul at times, sharing your feelings. Not disrespecting or being overbearing in the conversation.
Ephesians 4:29 says:
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Zig Ziglar tells the story of a lady who went to her Minister, because she wanted a divorce from her husband.
“Do you have any grounds?” The Minister asked…3 acres outside of town, you’ve been there!
“No, I mean, do you have a grudge?”…no, a carport
“No, like, does your husband beat you up?”…no, I’m up at 6, an hour before him!
“Oh my, I’m saying, do you have a case?”…no, we’ve got a John Deere!
“Ma’am, I’m trying to ask, are you and your husband having a troubles?”…oh yes, lots of troubles… “Like what?”…He just can’t communicate!

Marriage counselors say over half of all divorces are the result of poor communication, and that if they could have just learned to talk, they could have saved their marriage.

Here are the 7 “B’s” of good listening:
1.Be Observant.
You listen with your eyes as much as your ears…look at them, show them you’re listening.
Albert Moravian of UCLA is a noted researcher in communication. He said that only 7% of our true feelings are conveyed by the actual words we speak. 38% by the way we say those words. And a whopping 55% is conveyed thru body language…non-verbal communication:
Facial expression, eye contact, posture, and tone of voice.

2. Be Available.
Communication is like fishing…it doesn’t do much good to go when it’s convenient, to catch fish, you have to go when they’re biting.
This is especially true with teens, I’m told (and have experience)…when teens really want to talk, which I’m told and again, (have experienced) is quite rare, you’d better be available. It might be at midnight when they get in from that youth activity, but you’d better do it then…they won’t resemble the same person in the morning!
It might be during your favorite TV program…better turn it off and listen. Some of Brady’s and mine best conversations are on our way home from Wednesday night Bible study, or at Gold Star Chili.

3. Be Considerate.
It’s amazing how considerate we are to others out in public, but how rude we can be to our own family members. If we interrupted at work like we do at home, we’d be sent home permanently! Or walk away from them while talking, or ignore. We can’t take each other for granted.

4. Be Demonstrative.
We’re talking physical…hugs, kisses, pats, massages, etc. Use them often. Gary Smalley says women need non-sexual touch…little things, not groping like a piece of meat. He says women need 8 of these touches per day. (Some of you guys will wake up tomorrow and go 12345678…) It doesn’t work that way.

5. Be Wise.
Learn to attack the problem, not the person. Ladies: nagging is not communicating! (Not one man said Amen, bunch of cowards! Don’t leave me hanging’ here!) Bringing up past offenses is not wise! (Joke—guy says, every time my wife and I fight she gets historical. “You mean hysterical?” No, historical…she brings back everything I’ve ever done since we got married.) And before I get into too much trouble…Men, sarcasm will get you nowhere! (And my wife says, Amen!)
6. Be An Example.
Parents, it’s a cold hard fact…I hope you’re not 90 before you realize that we don’t get what we want, we get what we ARE!
Percentage of American teens who say they want to be like their parents: 39%.

Children who see physical violence between their parents are six times more likely to abuse their own spouses after they marry. If those children were also hit by their parents as teenagers, they are 12 times more likely to abuse their spouses.

7. Be Courageous.
The main reason we don’t communicate is fear…we’re simply afraid of what we might hear! We’re afraid to make ourselves vulnerable, so instead, just blurt out how it’s going to be, like it or lump it!

So, strong families have a strong sense of commitment. They have communion…spending time together. They have good communication, and express themselves well.


Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

What Strong Families Have in Common Part 2

Strong Families Have Communion

In a survey, 1,500 children were asked, what makes families happy?
Over 90% gave the same answer. It wasn’t a big house or lots of money…it was “doing things together”.

Are we talking quality time or quantity time? Both!
One of the biggest false bills of goods we’re being sold these days is that it doesn’t matter how much time you spend, just make it quality time! Yes, it does matter.
Time together is how you get to know each other, really know each other in a deep way, where you can eventually see right into their heart just by looking into their eyes, and where you can tell when they’re lying right away!

Is your child shy or confident? Are they a leader or follower? What are their interests? What do they want to be someday? Who is their best friend, and why are they their best friend?
Some of you draw a blank at some of those questions, and the reason is how busy we are these days…we’re not spending enough time together.
Children spell love TIME / Men, you can say “love”, or you can demonstrate love by spending time w/ your wife.

Time with family says to them, you are a priority, I love you!
There’s no substitute for time spent together. You can’t neglect them for months and then make up for it by taking them to Disneyworld, or buying them something they really want.
Take time to do the simple but meaningful things together:
Shoot baskets, or rake leaves. You can read a book, or take them along on that errand to Wal-Mart!
But I know what you are thinking or maybe saying, They’ll just slow me down. Yes! And that’s what we need, to slow down, and experience life together!

Deuteronomy 11:18-21 says - Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

What Strong Families Have in Common Part 1

1. Strong Sense Of Commitment

Seems obvious, right? But over the last decade, I’ve counseled w/ dozens of couples…pre-marital and post-marital counseling, and it’s proven to me that people today don’t understand commitment. What a relaxed attitude people have as they enter into the holiest of unions these days of the disposable marriage. “If it works, fine, if it doesn’t, fine.”

Commitment is the assurance that this family will stay together, value each other, for a lifetime, no matter what. Whatever problems we face, we face them together. Strong marriages take the following words, and carve them in granite: I’m committed to you, no matter what. And they take the word divorce out of their vocabulary.

Parents, there’s 2 ways you can convey the sense of commitment to a child: [Of course, when we learn it!]

1. By conveying to them that they are a blessing, not a burden. This generation of children has been labeled, the unwanted generation. TV today sends the message that children are an unwanted expense, and interference in careers, or an untimely accident. There are no mistakes, accidents, or surprises with God. The abortionist claims there’s a clear difference between an unborn child, and one that’s been born…try explaining that to a child that is looking for relevance!

A good illustration of this would be the child that is the last one picked for a ball team…who has to take him? I had him last time! Can you just see that child standing there in right field thinking, I’m here because they’re stuck with me.

This suicide note from a young girl named Jennifer age 15; from West Virginia was found just 3 days ago
Dear mom, I’m sorry I was ever born. It seems to me that I’ve ruined your happiness. I’ve chosen this way out so that you can be happy again.
(chances are, this girl was genuinely loved and wanted, but somehow they failed to communicate it to her!)

2. By letting them know they are loved unconditionally. We live in an achievement oriented society. Where significance equals performance and importance equals ability, and where self-worth equals achievement. I am sorry to say, this mindset has crept into many homes.
Parents, do your kids know that there’s nothing they can do to be more loved, because they’re already loved with a measureless love? Nothing they can do to be more accepted, because they’re already totally accepted? Nothing they can do to be more valued, because they’re already infinitely valued?

Nothing will alienate a child more than making them work for something that should be given freely…love, acceptance, and self-worth.

If you raise a child on conditional love, to some degree, always feeling like they have to do something to make you proud of them, you will almost always wind up with 1 of 2 results when they’re grown:

1. Workaholic who never feels adequate, but quite self-conscious.
2. A quitter, who just gives up all-together. “I can’t please dad or mom, so I’ve decided not to even try.”
But you may ask, Lonnie:
“Aren’t I supposed to motivate my child?” Yes you are.
“Aren’t I supposed to encourage them on to excellence?” Yes are.
“Don’t I want them to reach their full potential?” Yes you do.

The key is: What are you using to motivate them?
Never motivate on the basis of love and acceptance. This, they must be given freely.
Never motivate on how they compare to others… “Johnny can do it, why can’t you…try harder!”

Motivate on the basis of what THEIR best is.
Did you know you can be proud of your child, even if you’re displeased with them? You can show them love and acceptance, even when you’re disgusted with their attitude…even if they embarrass you out in public!

I’m convinced that some people who claim to be motivating their child for the child’s sake are actually doing it for their own sake… “So I’m not embarrassed, so I can be proud of you, so no one thinks less of you because they would then think less of me!” A parent like that was no doubt raised that way themselves.
Hey, it’s time to break the cycle!

Ask yourself now: Do my children know they are a blessing, not a burden?
Do they know they’re loved unconditionally, and there’s nothing they can do to make me love them more?

That’s commitment. It’s the first thing strong families have in common. Couples: commitment to each other is just the same!

*But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.*